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Dear Justin Bieber,
- Let me start by telling you who i am. My name is Lalita Selochan and im 14...My birthday is on January 9th, i live in NYC and im a belieber....For the part 3 years i have been battling with cutting/Self-Harm and an eating disorder. I have gotten help by talking to my social worker at school and im still in recovery, But im not gonna lie i never feel good or worthy enough, or beautiful, I haven't stopped Cutting...but i have been eating little by little. The Only person that knows about this is my older sister because she went to talk to my social worker..and my friends, But my mom and no one else knows about it. Sometimes i think that with all those beliebers out there in the world..how could i get the chance to be noticed or to actually meet you?!
- I tried meeting you was at your book signing which was such a huge DISASTER. The night before i wrote a letter for you and asked my sister if she would take me and she said no. I went in my room and cried! and cried! until i fell asleep. But then she woke me up around 4am and we went, i was to excited!, When we got to barns & Nobles the polices said "Sorry the line has been cut looks like you guys should go home" and immediatly i started to cry. My sister and i....17 hours of waiting in the freezing cold!....tried to sneek in and when we finally got in the line! the polices kicked us out. Since that day i cried and have been depressed but now im not depressed anymore because i have faith. When i see him meeting fans like paige conway on ellen or on his new proactiv commercial...i cry. When i watch Never Say Never the movie....i cry. My friends sometimes say "Your atleast lucky you got a chance" and i tell them I almost had a chance but it didn't happen and that hurts...A lot.
- Your songs have helped me through all of my rough days and have made me smile when i was feeling down. Sometimes when i get angry and i NEEDED to cut myself, i would pick up the blade, look at your posters, put it back down and start crying. Other times after i eat and feel like throwing up i listen to your music to help me clam down. At times i would think that if i ever met you that you would hate me because i don't measure up to Selena or other kinds of girls you liked. Sometimes i don't feel good enough for you justin, Sometimes i just felt like you would hate me because im cutting myself and you would think i need to me in a mental hospital. At times i would cry because i would be ashamed to be a belieber and think if Justin knew this about me he'll Just Hate me. The goal that Me and Suzanna is trying to reach is to Trend #JustinMeetLalita and try to get this letter to Scooter, Justin, Alfredo..Anyone in Justin's crew.
- Today (March 17) #IfJustinWasMyBoyfriend was trending #1 and i started to think. You have no clue who i am, you don't know that im even in this world and it hurts knowing that i have no chance of meeting you. When i look at your pictures or listen to your songs i think about how much i yearn to hug you, to just hear you say "Its gonna be alright." Whenever im depressed i want you to listen to me vent on and on and on and still love me...I want you to send me a dozen of roses and i want you to tell me im beautiful when i look like a mess. I want you to make me doubt that a person like you actually exist, i want you to hold me in your arms when i cry.
- I want you to hold my hand, Tell me you love me and tell me that i am worthy and good enough. I want to get that chance to run my fingers through your hair and laugh like there's no tomorrow, to be happy for once, to feel beautiful for once, to have a chance to look directly into those beautiful hazel eyes of yours, to have a chance to have you kiss me on the cheek and i do the same to you. Overall i know this will never in my living life happen and that i will never meet you but a girl can dream right? but sometimes giving your hopes up really sucks...I have no idea why im even trying to get this to you but if you do read this i just want you to know...I love you and your the reason im still alive.
- ~ Sincerely a belieber you'll never know : / AKA @LalitaLoveMusic
- And if you do read this...please let me know.
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Every girl has a boy she will never forget and a summer where it all began
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